How to Feel Unwelcomed and Dumb

How to Feel Unwelcomed and Dumb

...or like a sociopath?

Almost nothing one can do during course of their ordinary daily life is as socially ostracizing as when one gets bundled up to ride somewhere for utility transportation through cold or crappy weather. You’ll receive the strangest comments, reactions and looks if you find yourself riding when, in the mainstream’s comfortably-sealed-inside-a-car worldview, one isn’t supposed to be out there riding.

I’ve always wondered if this could be slightly similar to what it feels like to be a mildly sociopathic individual. Not a Ted Kosinski or anything so extreme, but still somewhere on that same craziness spectrum.

Right now, it’s a moderately windy 35ºf (and about +5ºf ‘wind chill) at noon and still almost twilight-dark beneath a thick gray-cloudy sky. A typically depressing and moody early winter day, but the local roads have been dry and clear for a week so I rode to work yesterday and on Tuesday, a one-way distance of five miles. I also rode to a short business meeting, a storage rental place, a bank, and a grocery store. 

The bank was a very brief stop to drop something off, so I walked right in without even removing my modular helmet. It was cold enough I didn’t want to mess around. This move was practical, time-efficient, and comfortable, but I might easily have been mistaken for a grubby suicide-bombing terrorist all bundled up in a dirty black Aerostich R-3 and carrying a worn backpack with a small carabiner on each strap from which dangled a loop of parachute cord, a door key and two small remote garage door opener transmitters. I sure didn’t look (or feel) like any kind of recreational, ADV, touring or sport motorcyclist you’ve probably ever seen.

It’s possible I’m too sensitive. Or too dumb. I’ve written about this before. Here are the bullet points:

  • Riding is fun and always feels good. Really good.
  • Riding can sometimes be logistically a lot harder than simply walking, riding a bus, or driving.
  • Riding can make you look pretty good to others if done ‘correctly’.  I.E. – in ways that seem right to non-riding observers. But only if you are wearing the ‘right’ kind of gear for the bike you are riding, and riding the appropriate bike for the situation, during the most acceptable type of weather. Riding done the way non-riders expect riders to look. “As seen on TV” or whatever.
  • Non-riding observers cannot fully understand or appreciate the ‘why’ of riding. The only way to appreciate the multi-layered wonderful experience of riding is to actually ride.
  • In America, non-riders are the vast and overwhelming majority, and they outnumber us riders by a very large percentage.
  • Almost all non-riders in America view motorcycling as an optimal-weather-only form of recreation, sport and/or leisure, and not as any kind of useful or practical all-weather transportation. “Almost” means 98.483% of them, except most spouses and siblings.

There is probably a determinable ratio describing the degree to which riding ostracizes one, corresponding with the adversity or horribleness of the weather. Maybe it’s 1:1. Perhaps when the weather is bad, the rider is ostracized and if the weather is twice as bad the rider is twice as ostracized. In all my years of riding, this 1:1 ratio is about how it feels. And this has become so predictable it’s also quietly more amusing than you might imagine.

Mr. Subjective's bike outside Aerostich

For example, yesterday my first stop was a business meeting, and as I put the bike on its sidestand and keyed off its engine a woman looking to be somewhere in her mid-forties turned, stared, and said to me: “Aren’t you freezing?”  She was wearing a nice puffy goose down jacket and had just emerged from her comfortably heated car after pulling into the parking space adjacent to mine. “Not really.” I replied with a smile. That was our entire conversation. She took in my reply with a mildly incredulous expression, then turned away and briskly walked into the nearby building. I followed a few moments later after removing my helmet and gloves, carefully putting the bikes key into my riding suit’s pocket and making sure the Velcro pocket flap was secure.

Moments like this happen all the time when you choose to ride in crappy weather. I collected additional looks and comments at the bank and then at the rental storage rental place where I had to renew a rental agreement at their office. Only at the grocery store did the cashier say nothing. I could see in her eyes and general manner she thought there was something a little off about me, though. I also noticed the same look on the faces of the drivers in the cars surrounding me at stoplights and sign-controlled intersections.

A look like what, exactly? It’s hard to describe. Going from most-to-least maybe it’s a blend of condescension + mild resentment + irritation + amusement + envy? Most notably not a shred of curiosity, either. It’s possible a tiny approval/envy percentage comes from other riders who were on this day sensibly sealed inside their warm and safe cars. You really do feel like an idiot whenever you are riding for simple transportation during bad weather.

But conformity can be for suckers, and maybe discomfort is partly an illusion, too. Yesterday I was comfortably in my regular street clothing above a pair of ankle-high riding boots, with almost everything else beneath a light goose down sweater ‘puffy’ layered within a slightly oversize black Aerostich R-3 Light Tactical one-piece suit. With a small “Road Grimed Astronaut” embroidered patch on the left shoulder. Was I that astronaut, or another everyday transportation riding sociopath? 

I was both, and it was great. 

- Mr. Subjective, 12-21

PS – Or a stupid dumb f**k idiot?


25 comments


  • T Day

    You might either be generally better dressed than I have ever been or a bit sensitive. Before I retired, I rode to work most every day in downtown St Paul, about a 5 mile one-way commute, and I suppose there were occasional (or even regular) comments about my “spacesuit” (Darien) and helmet (bright yellow). However, I probably have received as many “humorous” comments about my regular clothing as my riding gear. Probably. I don’t, honestly, pay much attention to small talk or engage in it if I can avoid it.

    I have to agree with Chuck about the “motorcycle as a good” claim. Living in a biker destination, it’s pretty obvious that the bad massively outweighs the good. The noise, pollution (motorcycles are, at best, far worse polluters than even modern pickups and, more typically, practically spewing raw fuel after a typical exhaust “modification”), and cost to society due to incompetence and recklessness pretty much puts motorcycles in the path of obsolescence. I wish it weren’t true and, like many problems, it doesn’t have to be, but the economic drivers are in the way of fixing motorcycling’s biggest problems and the willpower to overcome those just isn’t there.

    The upside is that for 90%+ of the reasons most of us ride a motorcycle an eBike is more than capable. As you know, your 5 mile commute and most of what you would need to do in a small town like Duluth are pretty easily addressed on a decent eBike with minimal environmental and social impact with all of the good things that do come with riding a motorcycle. And every improvement on battery and electric motor technology makes that even more true. There has to be a niche for Aerostich gear in that market, but it might not be large enough, yet. My Darien gear has saved my skin multiple times, mostly off-pavement and in some pretty weirdly remote places and my heated bib and Kanetsu heated vest extended both my riding season and my riding lifetime considerably. It’s sort of interesting that the same kind of non-rider expectations you commented on apply to bicycling, from both the traditional bicyclers and the non-riding public. My grandson, who grew up watching me gear up for a motorcycle, gears up in very similar armor and weather gear for his 10 mile one-way eBike commute every day in Minneapolis. He is also somewhat oblivious of fashion criticism, but I expect he gets some.


  • Tobias

    @Chuck … „motorcycles are toys“ (… another US-centric view of the world) – Not for me and the billions of people in the world who use it for transportation. I commute to and from work (if road conditions permit (year-round/Colorado). Parking is free in certain areas on downtown streets, gas mileage far outperforms cars, and even the primary energy content in a 2-wheeled vehicle beats a car any time, let alone the impact on road wear and tear, and the propensity to cause (pollution and frustration increasing traffic jams). Maneuverability in the urban context is unrivaled other than for bicycles, and yes, my motorcycle uses less resources than a car, and I live far enough from work to make walking unreasonable, and I‘d rather not arrive sweaty on a bicycle either, working (with clients) in the service industry.
    I ride a Zero FXS and a BMW btw.
    The US is not the center of the world, but everything we do here does have an impact on the environment to a very high degree, as our carbon footprints are multiples of even the very wealthy European nations.
    Is / should that be the main motivator to ride a motorcycle? No, but it‘s not just to play/for entertainment. That‘s just a positive side effect (when commuting), and an expression of its versatility. Regards, Pollyanna.


  • Jesse Romain

    Always very well written.
    When I see someone riding when I wouldn’t, I’m in awe. They almost always gain my respect. I am surprised you believe others think you’re nuts? Isn’t awe, a similar reaction to nuts?
    I have felt honored on the few occasions when I’ve garnered those reactions.


  • Chuck Damsky

    Another eye roll inducing excursion in to the weird self regard that motorcyclists have about themselves with a sales pitch snuck in at the end as an added insult.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love riding my motorcycle, and I do it at every reasonable opportunity. But the notion that anyone else gives a damn about me or my bike one way or the other never enters my mind. Additionally I’m put off by the pollyanna arguments about motorcycles as a “social good”. No matter how you dress them up, motorcycles are toys and let’s please stop pretending otherwise. Although I have no statistics immediately at my fingertips, I’m guessing that the vast majority of miles ridden on motorcycles are of the “elective” variety and therefore are just as wasteful as those done in any car. If you want to conserve earth’s resources, ride a bicycle or better yet, walk to your destination, but please, for god"s sake stop kidding yourself. You’re not saving the planet.
    And one more thing… I LOVE my Aerostich Cousin Jeremy jacket and Kanetsu heated vest!


  • Keenan E Smith

    Though I live and ride in Central TX, I can relate to people’s looks and thoughts about riding in crummy WX….

    I ride to business meetings as often as possible, and yes usually in good WX and when i do not have to carry a load of (architectural) presentations materials, etc. So business colleagues know that I am ’rider."

    When WX turns cold or rainy … even when it gets unbearably hot 100F+ down here…. they say…“So, Did you ride your MC today?” it’s a kind of jokey comment, but with some slant of morbid curiosity …. gauging my determination vs/ reason….

    When it’s that case that in fact, I “did not,” now I just say…..“No, nothing to prove …. could have … I have the gear!”

    That usually satisfies them.

    Thanks- K


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